Children are often ignored when sharing their thoughts or opinions only because they are still — minors and young. Although adults have more experience in life, it doesn’t mean they have to invalidate children’s feelings. As you grow up, you might encounter an adult saying: “you’re still young; you won’t understand this.” The statement might translate to your opinions are not worthy because of your age.
Most adults may think that it’s not harmful to talk to children in this way. However, it can make children feel incapable of forming their thoughts and may affect their self-confidence as they grow up. Worse, it may make them submissive and avoid speaking for what they think. As part of your parenting tips in Singapore, make sure to practice being an active listener to show your child that you care about what they’re saying.
For better parenting, here’s how active listening can make a difference in the upbringing of your children.
The Importance of Active Listening to Your Child’s Upbringing
Most parents want to unlock the secrets of how to motivate children in their ways. They might become overprotective, too supportive or too independent as a parenting style. Although moulding a child can differ from parent to parent, there’s one thing everyone should practice — active listening.
Hence, let this section show you the importance of active listening in your parenting.
- It Shows Empathy – Active listening means you’re trying to understand their situation. It shows that you’re trying to consider every point the children want to tell. Yes, children can feel if their parents are by their side, even as young as five or six years old. Showing empathy will help children know that their feelings are valid and understandable.
- It Shows Attention – Children can quickly feel ignored and neglected if their parents are always busy with their work or other agendas. So, as part of your parenting tips, practice active listening to show that you’re attentive when they’re talking. This way, they may feel that you’re by their side.
- It Shows Your Effort – Parenting is not just about spoiling children with the things they want. Being a parent is also about showing your effort in their emotional, mental, and physical growth. One way to do this is to include active listening as part of the parenting tips you should follow. This way, children can see your effort in raising them for a better future.
After knowing the importance of active listening, you might wonder how to establish this kind of communication with your children. Luckily, the next section will show you some parenting tips on becoming an active listener to your children.
How to be an Active Listener When Talking to Your Child
Being an active listener can be a challenge for parents who aren’t used to this kind of communication. You may do the wrong way of active listening, such as forcing your child to open up to you. With the eagerness to practice your listening skills, it’s also essential to respect your child’s boundaries.
Hence, here are some parenting tips when talking to your child to become a better listener:
1) Concentrate on What They’re Saying
Yes, we understand that parents are busy because of their work and personal lives. However, making an effort to concentrate on what your children’s saying is an essential part of active listening. For instance, you can tell your child:
- “Wait for a minute.
- Let me close my laptop first.”
- “Let me finish what I’m doing so I can listen to you.”
With this, you can tell your child that you’re willing to listen.
It also makes your children think they’re valuable to you because you choose them over your work. If, for instance, your child shared: “Mom/Dad, I want to join the writing courses in Singapore to enhance my skills.” Don’t just say no or yes but ask them more about what makes them want to enrol in the said class. This way, you tell your children that you’re by their side with whatever they choose in life.
2) Let Them Speak
Some parents are overbearing when talking to their children. They won’t let their children finish. After all, they believe that they’re always right because they’re older. However, it doesn’t work that way if you want to practise being an active listener. It would help if you let them speak and share their opinions about certain things.
Listen to every word and make them feel like you’re there to help them. Avoid saying things like “Oh, wait, what did you say again?” or “Can you repeat it because I’m doing something?” It can make them feel neglected when you’re saying these sentences. So, adults, including parents and an educational consultant in Singapore, should let children speak and tell what they want to share.
3) Ask Them Questions (Reflective Listening)
As you listen to them, ask them questions if you understand what they’re trying to say. You can do reflective listening to ensure you know your children by offering the idea back to them. For instance, your child shared: “Mom/Dad, I want to learn in Careon Oh because the teachers are supportive.” You can ask something like: “You want to enhance your skills because the teacher makes you feel confident?
In doing so, you let your child know that you’re trying to understand what they’re saying. Instead of brushing them off, practice reflective listening as part of the parenting tips for better children upbringing.
4) Make Time to Talk
As a parent, you have the responsibility to know more about your children. Hence, establish a schedule to make time to talk with them. You can include talking while eating dinner or breakfast before you start the day. When you have this in your parenting tips and plan, you’ll get to know more about your children. Plus, they can sense that you care about their well-being.
5) Be Involved, Present and Curios
Indeed, you don’t have to be nosy when you aspire to become more present and involved in your children’s lives. All you have to do is become an active listener so that they feel you’re by their side. Practice balancing being too nosy and concerned, and for this, you can become a close friend to your children too.
At Carean Oh, an educational consultant can help your children improve their skills and abilities with active listening. So, visit their website to involve your children with learning activities like writing courses in Singapore.